Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

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It’s Valentine’s Day.

Bah humbug!!

This is a perfectly fine holiday if you’re in a relationship. But when you’re single, it’s like being Jewish on Christmas. It’s a holiday for other people.

With no disrespect to my Valentine’s Day date tonight (we met very recently), I’m left thinking mainly about my exes today. And of my late partner who died of AIDS in 1998. (I don’t use the term ex when referring to him, it implies a breakup. We were partnered when he died and very much Valentines!)

I propose a supplemental holiday to Valentine’s Day. Call it Ex-Valentine’s Day. Or X-Day, if you happen to be spelling it on a cake.



sbsbWhat I learned on my autumn vacation:

• I’m trying to spin D4D into a book. So I need to find an agent and publisher (rather than self publishing, which is a last resort). The next step is writing a book proposal, which seems as daunting as writing a book, just not as much fun.

• If you want to get anywhere as a writer, you have to know the right people (or the write people). Just like any profession, contacts are gold. Talent is secondary. Right now I’m not sure I have enough of either.

• Boosting traffic to my blog is a part-time job. I’m in a 4-month course geared to do just that, build a bigger audience on-line. More traffic means publishers might actually pay attention to my book proposal. So D4D is now the double-edged sword of creating content AND marketing. All at the comfortable annual salary of Zero.

(You’ve reached it. The final chapter of “The Plan.” Congratulations! You no doubt have devoured every morsel, hanging by fingernails for the final installment. Well, let me say to you, loyal reader, here it is. The conclusion of The Plan for dealing with the festering weaknesses in my life: Fear, Debt, Savings, Income, Identity, and now, everyone’s favorite subject, Love.)


MjAxMy1iZjA2ODRjMjVlYmJkMzhhHonestly, I hesitate to even broach the subject here. This blog is about middle-age reconstruction, dealing with nagging challenges in new ways. In the process, I’ve changed my approach to almost everything. But when it comes to relationships, I have no confidence in understanding what I’ve done in the past or what I want for the future. Sometimes I wonder if I even know the difference between really close friendship, love, infatuation, obsession, co-dependence, and a box of chocolates.

Almost 20 years separate the very first guy I ever dated and the most-recent guy I dated, and they bear an uncanny resemblance to one another. (more…)