A Consolation Prize? For Me?

Posted: November 21, 2013 in McTrip posts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

22a1f54886179f63b50d250da9bd3635The only good thing about turning 50 is apparently 50 years is how long it takes to figure out a few things. Either that or my recent revelations are the universe’s way of saying, “Hey, sorry about your libido, your hairline, your patience and your eyesight. Oh and sorry you fell through the cracks of the New Economy. In return we’d like to compensate you with the answers to some of life’s mysteries.”

Which is what I’ve been doing here on D4D for the last six months, working through a lot of crap. On the Internet, no less. Apparently I’ve lost all sense of pride as well as my youth. Anyway, speaking of the ubiquitous Internet, I’d like to thank you, the electronic voyeurs in my psychodrama of mid-life. Thanks for reading, responding, and liking.

But now it’s time for D4D 2.0. (Yes, I know that might sound ridiculous–a new version of the new day for an animal extinct for millions of years. But it’s my blog so put a cork in it!) Anyway, I’m hoping the tone and narrative shift away from the self-discovery and goal setting portion of the program. Because I feel that work’s largely done. That was a time for adjectives. This is a time for verbs.

Before we move on, I’ll take a moment to review (as you might surmise this is also the skeleton of what a D4D book proposal might look like.)

1. Life is neither as good nor as bad as it seems. No matter how comfortable you are financially and professionally, it’s all a precarious house of cards that can tumble at any time. It seems so obvious in hindsight. But don’t forget the irrational exuberance that swept America in the late ‘90s and early 2000s. It seemed like a joy ride to Xanadu. And it took the bitch of all recessions to open my eyes to the reality that Xanadu is nothing more than a tragic Olivia Newton John movie.

2. Less is more: Stuff doesn’t make me happy. Actually, less stuff makes me happy. This is the dawning of the Age of Minimalism.

3. Hang the old you: I was so scared to walk away from my last profession mainly because, as I now see, I was afraid I couldn’t do anything else. I couldn’t just stop being a real estate agent with nothing else lined up. I couldn’t just do nothing. As it turns out, that’s exactly what I had to do– nothing— in order to create a void that could then be filled with something else. There’s nothing like a death in the family to get everyone’s attention. And it was time to kill the old me. It was time to let go of all the labels I had affixed to myself. And from nothing is evolving a much more gratifying and real me.

4. Be Realistic: Do you want to go back to school? Realistically, probably not. Do you want to continue being a real estate agent? NO. Are there other opportunities for you with your skills? Opportunities and/or jobs you would be really excited about? Sadly, and probably the biggest revelation of them all, the answer appears to be no.

5. Get Off Your Fucking High Horse: I am a cater waiter at 50-years old. It’s the only real job I have right now while I give this writing thing another whirl. Had you told me in the‘90s that cater waiter was in my future, I never would have talked to you again. And look at me … all grown up, a cater waiter.

6. Ask for help: No, you’re not an island. You cannot stand alone. You tried that most of your adult life and look where it got you. You need a third-party to intervene, grab your little hand, tell you everything is going to be all right, and help you with a plan of action. My third party happened to be a life coach. Yours may be a bartender, your hairdresser your best friend or Dr. Phil. Whoever it is, find one. And start brainstorming.

That’s the first half of D4D 1.0. More next time.

(To be continued…)

  1. morgan says:

    I washed dishes this past summer. I didn’t need the money, but I needed to know I could do it. It was honest, hard work and I’m just as proud about that as my teaching gig.

  2. Highly descriptive post, I liked that a lot.

    Will there be a part 2?

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